What to Do When Challenges Knock You Down (and How to Get Back Up)

In 2008, J.K. Rowling stood before Harvard University graduates and delivered a now-famous commencement address about the benefits of failure. Years before the success of Harry Potter, Rowling faced a series of setbacks: her marriage ended, she became a single mother, and she struggled with unemployment and poverty. At her lowest point, she described herself as “the biggest failure I knew.”

But it was in this failure that Rowling found clarity. With nothing left to lose, she focused on her passion—writing. She described it as hitting “rock bottom” and then building a foundation from it. Her resilience not only helped her create one of the most beloved book series in history but also taught her the power of perseverance and adaptability in the face of adversity. She said that what helped her find hope and perceiver were supportive relationships, acceptance of failure as a learning experience, and the sense of purpose she found in writing that enabled her to confront and adapt to her circumstances as something that shall pass.

Rowling’s story reminds us that resilience doesn’t come from avoiding challenges but from confronting them head-on and finding strength in rebuilding. In the 21st century, the most important skill is adaptation. And one of the most important processes in adaptation is resilience.

👏 Resilience: More Than Just Bouncing Back

Resilience isn’t about ignoring hardship or simply "powering through." It's the capacity to adapt and grow in the face of adversity. Think of it as a muscle—one that gets stronger the more it's used. Resilience doesn't erase pain or difficulty but allows you to harness those challenges as stepping stones to greater strength.

For professionals, resilience can mean staying calm during a company crisis, finding opportunities in failed projects, or managing career transitions with grace. It’s not about having all the answers but being resourceful and steady as you navigate uncertainty, learn, adjust and move forward.

🤔 Most Common Misconceptions About Resilience

🔹️ Resilience means staying strong all the time

Resilience involves allowing yourself to feel, process, and recover—not suppressing emotions or pretending to be unshaken.

🔹️ You’re either born resilient or you’re not

Resilience is a skill that anyone can cultivate through practice and intentional behaviors.

🔹️ Resilient people don’t need help

Strong support networks are critical to resilience. Seeking help is an act of strength, not weakness.

🔹️ Resilience means avoiding failure

Resilience often involves embracing failure, learning from it, and using it as a stepping stone to future growth.

🔹️ Resilience is only connected to mental health

Actually, its connected to to physical health too. Resilient individuals are less likely to develop chronic illnesses like heart disease, and they recover more quickly from physical ailments due to the interplay between mental and physical health.

📃 What Does Research Tell Us?

The ability to bounce back from setbacks often distinguishes successful people from unsuccessful ones. Research has shown that resilience positively influences work satisfaction and engagement, enhances overall well-being, and can reduce depression levels. There's even evidence suggesting that resilience may protect against physical illness. Conventional wisdom portrays resilience as an internal "grit" that emerges only when we're tested—a solitary strength that enables the tough to rebound. However, recent research reveals that resilience isn't solely an individual trait; it's significantly bolstered by strong relationships and networks.

⚒️ Building Your Resilience Toolkit

1️⃣ Reframe the Narrative - Instead of asking, "Why me?" try asking, "What can I learn from this?" Adversity often comes with lessons that shape who we are and how we lead. Practice self-compassion, and treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend.

2️⃣ Learn your triggers - Understand and regulate your emotions to better manage stress. When you feel upset, or scared, catch yourself and ask, "What's behind this?" Or, better yet, journal daily and reflect on those moments to really understand what triggers you and what's behind it. Learn what's driving your behavior and whether you want to keep that habit or not.

3️⃣ Build Strong Relationships and Networks - Find time to talk to, debrief, reflect with your spouse, family, friends, colleagues. Trust that those relationships have will allow for the necessary vulnerability and honesty about the struggles you are going through. Also, having a mentor and/or a coach can be an additional source for reflection and support.

4️⃣ Craft or Revisit Your Purpose - "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how" - Nietzsche. The clearer your purpose, the more strength you'll find to overcome challenges on your path to fulfilling it. What's your purpose in life? What drives you forward? It might be devotion to your family or a big challenge you're trying to solve. In my case, having experienced the tragedy of dictatorship, totalitarianism, and war, I want to enable more people to create democratic and free spaces. What about you?

5️⃣ Create a Sanctuary - Find a space or activity that allows you to recharge and gain perspective. This "sanctuary" helps you process challenges, develop strategies, and return stronger. It can be a special physical place you go to, or an activity such as meditation, short walks, or exercise. Remember, taking care of yourself benefits not only you but also those around you.

🫂 You Are a Part of Someone’s Resilience System

Remember that, just like you, others often need to rely on you as their support system in the face of challenges. You are part of the resilience network for many people. The same way you want others to be there for you, you can be there for them. However, there's a trap here. Many of us give so much to others that we forget to take care of ourselves. Finding balance in supporting others is also an important skill. If you burn out, everyone loses.

💥 Action Item

This week, take a concrete step to strengthen your resilience. Here’s how:

1️⃣ Reflect on a recent challenge you faced. Write down what helped you get through it. Was it a mindset, behavior, or resource?

2️⃣ Choose one resilience strategy from this newsletter (e.g., journaling, connecting with a mentor, or creating a sanctuary). Commit to practicing it daily or weekly.

3️⃣ Share your reflections with someone in your support network. Discuss what resilience means to you and how you’re working to build it.

📺 TED Talk - The Three Secrets of Resilient People

Lucy Hone's TED Talk explores resilience through personal experience, highlighting three key strategies: focused attention, accepting adversity, and seeking joy amid challenges. Her talk emphasizes resilience as a cultivable skill, resonating with professionals balancing setbacks and growth. Check it out here.

Remember: Life often doesn’t get easier or more forgiving; we get stronger and more resilient!