🦋 The Mindset Mistake You Don’t Know You’re Making

In 1999, psychologists Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris conducted one of the most famous experiments in psychology. They filmed two teams of students—one team wearing white shirts, the other black—passing basketballs back and forth.

They gave participants a simple task: Watch the video and count the exact number of passes made by the team in white.

If you haven't seen it, you can try it yourself before reading on: LINK

The video plays. The students move and weave, passing the balls. It's surprisingly difficult to keep an accurate count. After about 45 seconds, the video stops. The experimenter asks for the count.

Then, they ask another question: "Did you see the gorilla?"

In the middle of the experiment, a person in a full gorilla costume walks directly into the frame, stops in the center, thumps its chest, and walks off. It's on screen for nine full seconds.

The stunning result? Fully 50% of the participants, meticulously focused on counting the passes, never see the gorilla. And these results were replicated on many other occasions.

This experiment is a profound illustration of a simple truth: You see what you aim for.

Our minds are powerful, but they are also wired for efficiency. To handle the overwhelming complexity of the world, we create mental shortcuts and models. We focus on the task at hand. This "selective attention" is a survival skill.

But it has a profound consequence: when we over-focus on one task, we can become blind to massive, game-changing facts right in front of us. Our preoccupation determines the direction of our perception.

🎭 From The Dance Floor To The Balcony

This brings us to the core of systems thinking, the theme of this month. Leadership experts often use the metaphor of the "dance floor" and the "balcony."

• On the dance floor, you're in the middle of the action. You're trying to keep up with the music, navigate the crowd, and execute your moves. This is where most of us live our daily lives—in back-to-back meetings, answering emails, and managing deadlines. We're on the dance floor, "counting the passes."

• The balcony is where you detach. You step away from the action to see the whole system. From the balcony, you don't just see your own dance moves; you see the patterns. You see how the crowd is moving, which parts of the floor are congested, and who is dancing with whom.

From the balcony, everyone sees the gorilla.

On the dance floor, you miss the gorilla, the shifting market, the team's burnout, or the customer's subtle frustration. You miss the very patterns you need to see to solve complex problems.

So, how do we train ourselves to move from the dance floor to the balcony? It's about changing the lens you're looking through.

It starts with your mindset.

☝️ What Is A Mindset?

A mindset is a conscious or unconscious setting of your mind—a lens through which you observe the world or a particular situation.

Since the world is complex, mindsets are a natural way for us to simplify it by focusing on certain parts while ignoring others. They make us pay attention to different sets of facts and details in the same situation.

When we change our mindset, the same situation or person can look completely different.

Imagine walking into a team meeting with the mindset, "No one here respects me or my ideas." You will immediately zero in on the people checking their phones, the colleague who seems distracted, and the one person who never makes eye contact. Every subtle sign reinforces your belief.

Now, pause. Shift your mindset to: "I am curious about how to make my idea better and get support."

Suddenly, you notice details you completely ignored before: a teammate nodding as you speak, another taking detailed notes, and the project lead's feedback that now sounds like building on your idea, not shutting it down.

These details were always there. The "gorilla" of support was always in the room. But your first mindset made you blind to it.

🚫 Common Misconception

The most common misconception is that mindset is just "positive thinking" or that you are simply born with a "good" or "bad" one. Many people mistake mindset for a fixed personality trait. In reality, mindsets are not about ignoring problems or forcing positivity; they are about choosing the most effective lens to interpret problems and decide what to focus on. They are malleable skills that can be intentionally practiced and changed over time, not permanent states.

🧬 The Science

Your mindset can directly change your physical reality. Research shows that your mindset acts like a placebo. For example, studies by psychologist Dr. Alia Crum demonstrated that hotel maids who were simply told their daily work was good exercise (adopting an "exercise mindset") experienced significant health benefits, like weight loss and lower blood pressure, even though their actual behavior didn't change. Your beliefs about an experience can change your body's biological response to it!

🎯 Let Your Mindset Serve Your Goals

Just before any meeting, class, workshop, podcast recording, tennis or basketball game, I take 5 minutes and I go through these steps to fine-tune my mindset so that it serves my goals:

• Goals: What are my (up to 3) goals for this event?

• Identifying my current mindset: What word best describes the mindset I am in? (e.g., curious, tired, skeptical, open, distracted). Try to recognize your current mindset by pausing to notice your emotions, inner dialogue, and physical tension.

• Check in: Is this the mindset that will enable me to reach my goals? If not, then 👇

• Shift: What kind of mindset do I need to embody to be successful and reach my goals in this event? (e.g., "Competitive", "Curious," "Collaborative," "Confident and clear," "Empathetic listener").

🔄 How To Make The Shift?

Sometimes we need to make dramatic shifts. One day, I had a very tough morning—both kids were cranky, dragging their feet to eat and get ready for school, tantruming, screaming. I came to work in emotional disarray, stressed out. And I was about to have an important meeting about a potential project. I needed to shift to a composure and curiosity mindset. What I usually do when I need to make a dramatic shift is a short 3–5 minute meditation—just a simple breathing meditation that almost always puts me in the neutral zone from which I can then switch to other mindsets. If I need to shift to a more energetic state, or stop overthinking, I take a short walk or do 5 minutes of HIIT exercises.

There are many mini rituals or actions you can take to make these shifts. The key is to try, experiment, get to know yourself better, and see what works for you.

⬇️ Go Deeper

This is a practice. You can build this "mindset muscle" through daily reflection. At the end of the day, look back:

• Which mindsets did I embody in my meetings today?

• How did they serve me?

You will start noticing patterns—a key part of systems thinking. Maybe you'll notice that every time you attend that specific staff meeting, you embody a shy, defensive mindset. OK, what's behind that? How is that serving you? This is a powerful opportunity to learn about yourself and regain control.

You don't just have a mindset; you use one. And like any tool, you can put it down and pick up a better one.

This week, don't let your default mindset run the show. Choose the lens that serves your goals. The reality you see—and the results you get—will change right along with it ✊